Friday, April 29, 2005
12:05 AM
finally finally finally..the break is here! haha, had my last paper today went out to makan wif yf n alvin..this alvin wanted to go si ma lu n pray, so we ended up eating at beach road followed by bowling at marina south, quite relaxing, i'm so lousy at bowling! haha, but by luck, i managed to win yf hehe, n i striked twice1 haha, yeps.. but after a while, everi1 was tired already, got home around evening to catch my shows~
finally, i can go shopping, finallie i can take a break, sleep without worries, n indulge in wadeva i need, but first on the list, i got to vacate my hostel room! which is a chore, luckily got xf to help me haha..yar loh....hmm...there's so many things to do...gotta get PA clothes, gotta pack my house room, wanna keep it spick n clean....wanna pack my wardrobe to make room for new office wear, gonna meet up wif frens n cuz! yar lor
but sad to say, i only have 1 week to enjoy myself, but i guess mb one week is enuff, anyway also nothing much to do....wanna pick up blading n go ecp to blade! it's a good exercise apparently...yeps..wanna go gym one day..haha
hmm...oki, maybe over the 1 week break to the last paper, i sorted out my thoughts, n i feel much happier...maybe the only thing tat's impt, is to be happy, although there are things in life that may upset u, ultimately, it is ur decision to choose to b happie..i watch the tv shows, n i saw myself in tracy, holdin on to smthing non existence, n i tot to myself, oh so silly, y shed tears for some1 who dun love u rite...yar lor...i wanna live a happie life, doing things i like...i hope pa will be good although the pay is reallie peanuts! yar lor, i m sure it will be gd hehe [ trying to an wei myself]
yeps.....sigh, although i'm happie, there's sthing which i feel alittle troubled..it's like the feeling in sec sch when i gotta zy...its like the feeling when i met ys....it's like the feeling that.........i dunno how to describe, but anyway mb the feeling is jus temporary...it will go away...becoz..nothing will come out of it..yar lor..i think so...
yeps, i think i'm gg to rest early tonite, need a good nite sleep, i din sleep well last nite maybe i was too xcited abt the last paper but duno y recently always lydat, can't fall deeply in sleep, i'm conscious like till day light, i duno if i slept, i'm sleeping but my mind is conscious, oh well i hope it will go away...
anyway, i got a feeling there's mthing wrong wif my throat, i spit blood everi morning, mb i haf an infected throat, but i hope it will go away..i abit worried..
n i'm always paranoid abt my breathing, smtimes i feel i got some breathing problem, but i dunno if its imaginery or its real..haha
ok, i shall end here, gotta go
for those who are still having exams, hang in there, it's gg to be over real soon! :)
you make my life perfect-`
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
2:33 PM
oh no, i tink i'm becoming a pig..i sleep earlie n wake up damm late......i sleep around 12 ...den i wake up at 2 plus everyday..wad is happening..i just dowan to wake up to face reality haha i keep dreaming n dreaming..no la, i jus feel sian den i'll lazy in bed...although i haven't finish studying for my last paper...gonna study today *hopefully*
hai, my frens mostly finished their exams...onlie left me! but is ok, jus have to endure another day, got loads of activities lining up......going shopping on friday, hopefulli gg to settler's cafe on thurs after e paper wif yf they all, n i wanna learn blading...buy clothes for PA....buy things, trim my eye brow, n of course pack my room! its in a mess, reallie messy..oh ya i need to vacate my hostel room too..ahhhh sianz..haha
yar lor, i feel happie for no reason....hmm....hmm..hmm....it is good to feel happie..haha hmm i'm gg to catch a movie wif yimin next week, 1st outing wif her..she's my cuz, went overseas to study, so no chance to go out wif her till recently.. den meeting up loads of pple, looking fwd to it..yar lor
meanwhile, i gotta be disiplined n stay to my books...!
you make my life perfect-`
Monday, April 25, 2005
12:30 AM
hmm, haven't been blogging of late, does it show that i am hardworking? studying n not blogging? the answer is a big no! haha been too lazy to blog, n ya i'm finally awaiting my last paper...it's so sian, i got so much time to study for the last paper i didn't touch my books for the past 2 days, wondering wad i've been doing, but ya, i noe i will end up havin no time to finish studying at the rate i am gg...yar lor...anyway, i just wan to wish chingmin HAPPY BIRTHDAy~ i'm sure he had fun over in australia yeps, yar lor
oh well, i met up wif him again...oh well, i don't know, mb i m jus weak, but i noe i mus move on, i noe that i cannot continue lydat or the only 1 to suffer will be me...yar lor....he went to kl for a week, promised to watch a movie wif me when he comes back...actuallie maybe it doesn't reallie mean anything to me anymore, for i noe..everithing's changed..
yeps, mb in a way, i learnt to look things positively, i noe i can no longer b the sad me, i noe i mus move on n find the old me..i m on my way..:)
oh man, i am crapping haha, ya my thoughts are random, i duno where to start n where to end...yar....i noe i upset my dad yest n today, i am sorry, but i dunno how to express my apologies, i don't know why everitime things mus turn out lydat...smtimes i wish i haf a loving parents, n a loving family..but sad to say, i haf a parents who dun communicate ...hai
i shall not harp on the sad things..
i just hope that things will turn out better...
stay strong....n positive.. :)
you make my life perfect-`
Monday, April 18, 2005
10:54 PM
how times flies, i'm left with 2 papers, effectively after this coming thurs [ which is 2 more days] i will be left with 1 last paper with 1 week to study it! n guess wad, i have not touched the books for this thurs's paper at all, n i dun feel gan cheong, i duno y la, this sem so no mood to study, i came back frm today's paper, n i watched tv from 7-10! non stop haha, hmm, ya lor.. wanted to study, but no mood, feel distracted n feel abit unwell, so i decided to slack n rest earlie tonite n bia for tues n wed, haha imagine a semester's work being covered in 2 days? i reallie hope i dun bao this subject! * cross fingers* haha ya lor, jus now i was chatting th mr evil deyi, telling him abt sum stuff, n i tink he was qutie rite, the past 8-9 months, i was truly happie for onlie 1-3 months, he so hit the nail, i duno leh, but i realised that, n i realie a lot of things, n i shall try to return to my happie old self ~ working hard.....ok, duno wad esle to write, actuallie got mani things to write, but veri sian to write about it, maybe after exams...ya lor......jia you people for the remaining papers~
you make my life perfect-`
Saturday, April 16, 2005
12:31 AM
oh no...i'm having insommnia and i have extremely low concentration span, i don't want to buang my exams! i duno wad's wrong wif me...i jus can't conc...n i get headaches since yest..........................................................i hate myself for having some stuff constantly on my mind....wad can i do to make it go away? can anyone help? i wanna study hard, but where did my concentration disappear to?
you make my life perfect-`
Monday, April 11, 2005
1:47 AM
hello, hmm just came back from a short coffee session wif aaron, ok i was feeling damm down jus now la, ok a moment ago was telling my friend how i've learnt not to cry over some1 not worth it, but i'm weak ok, i cried again, mb it's that kinda feeling where u lost something, found it back for a moment, n realised that it's actually gone forever, the reality jus hits u, it all started wif ' i'm wif my gf' haiz, I think i'm the silliest girl on earth, by rite wadever things that he did, i should hate him, but y don't I? If i hate him, life won't be that bad, smtimes i jus get so upset over it i can't get anything one, but dun worri, most of the time I'm ok, happy as I am, actuallie i already got used to a single life, I can't imagine having some1 wif me now, ya lor, I think i will feel weird, duno, mb jus haben found the one bah, i feel stupid, supposed to finish up 2 more chapters, dat's y i drank coffee to keep me awake, but somehow the thought of reading another long boring chapter makes me sian, n i dun feel like reading it, so i'm gonna postpone it to tmr, so here I am blogging since i'm bored n everi 1 esle is either sleeping/ studying..was chatting to mich jus now, so happie now we finallie talked, there was a point in time i thought she was ignoring me, buthen i'm glad we r chatting again although i dun dare to ask her if she reallie was ignoring me...yar..den her nick was ' wad does it feel to lose someone u love'.....it's so scary, n i reallie can't imagine, i mean losing some1 u love [ breaking up] is bad enuff, can u imagine ur loved ones died? I can't...her friend's bf died in a motorcycle accident, hmm so sad, i mean i'm not her fren yet i can feel the sadness already, can't imagine how it feels, coz breaking up is bad enuff for me but well the main thing is to remain positive in life? hmm, i noe i'm writing a lot of crap n prob no one is reading it, but yar, i reallie shld focus, n focus, conc n conc n stop thinking abt the incident on fri oh well i think i'm gg to try n sleep wif the coffee in my body n wake up tmr n mug at the lib...wish me luck people
you make my life perfect-`
Saturday, April 09, 2005
11:18 PM
harlow, *tired* just bathed, went to study at woodlands library today..yeps..actuallie I just wan to blog about yesterday's supper, guess wad, i noe my frens will kill me if they noe, but i went out for supper wif james..i don't know what made me went to meet him, i was sleeping den he smsed me, ask me wad i'm doin den we sms sms den we decided to meet up for supper, yar, we went to geylang to eat...hmm..i don't know, at first i thought it was gg to be weird, but it ain't, i don't exactly feel sad, i dunno wad i'm feeling, maybe i'm just confused abt my own feelings, is it that some things changed, will never be the same again? a hug last time will be different from a hug now? i don't know, I just feel that a mirror broken can never be mended back, even if its mended there would be cracks to remind u..hmm i duno, i'm feeling kinda insecure, i duno wad's up, i dunno wad's wrong n i dunno i'm just confused, i noe i shouldn't be thinking about tis kinda things now, I should be concentrating on my exams, hmm, i dunno, oh well i'm not reallie bothered, i still can conc on my exams..is just that, i noe that things r never the same
you make my life perfect-`
Thursday, April 07, 2005
5:03 PM
hmm, its funny how i seem to seek comfort in u ... hmm got a throbbing headache now, just got back home from biz comm quiz, got a lift from Hugo, luckily tmr morn he gg to sch also can gimme a lift so I can be home today! yar,, i dunoo, the stress is catching up on me, i dun feel like studying though, its so boring! but i noe no choice one, jus endure for a few weeks more n i can play n looking fwd to PA ..hopefulli it will be good its the onlie thing for me to look fwd to...at least i tink so, n of coz not forgetting mb the redang trip, hopefulli reallie can make it coz i reallie wan to get outta country need to get away from everithing
you make my life perfect-`
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
4:31 PM
hello, hmm, taking a break from my revision, haha..been reading for RM n i realise like nothing much to study lydat leh, duno is it me or wad? anyway, i reallie hope i can get at least a B for RM, n if a miracle can happen, let me get a A ok! haha yar, den revised my timetable, actuallie I realise me still got some itme [ provided i really stick to my timetable], slow n steady, i can even jus put a chapter a day lor haha but BF322 suxs, I have no idea wad's gg on, n haven touch at all, gonna start tmr, maybe it mite b a different story if i reallie get started on revising 322 n 219, i'm pinning my hopes on 219, though, i dunno mus reallie say I need lotsa luck too..ya lor, actuallie it's reallie boring, i hate this studying period, wan to go out also nobody to go out wif, buthen again if i go out i will be guilty too, i rahter stay home n sleep den go out haha, ya, but i reallie ought to do some last minute catching up, this sem reallie flies past so quickly leh, in a year going to grad liao, think next sem worst lor, will be busy bia-ing for FYP! anyway, I finalli met my fyp mate in the lab the other day, so funni, i felt so so weird, like haha, i told yongfeng it feels like a blind date n he says i think until too romantic liao, i mean i dun mean it in that sense, but like, jus funni lor, the idea of not knowing how the person looks like n forming the group, I hope that we reallie can work together lor yar lor...anyway, yar, nothing much lor... oh ya the other day went to eat suki buffet wif siewfeng, miaosi, aaron, libing n junguang, shall post up the fotos next time. its the place where they haf the ice-cream buffet one but we din try to ice-cream buffet ya lor, lalala i don't know oh then ah, after that i went to look for james leh, silly me hor, coz he sms me tell me he was spinning at NO. 5, but after see-ing him I didn't realle feel anything lor, its a good sign to show that I've moved on :) yar lor..I don't know leh, i went there, den he din even seem happie i was there, to the the extent he didn't reallie bother looking at me, it made me feel like a bai chi la, den when i asked him why he so unfrenly, i mean he tell me he was there means mb he wans me to go look for him, but when i'm there he dun even gif a damm to me la, den he said that his manager was around n he can't talk, is that a real reason or jus an excuse, nvm la, it doesn't reallie bother me, seriously i'm happy wif my life, carefree, can do whatever i wan to go, can go out with whoever i wan to , i dun haf to feel restricted yar lor, I jus hope that he's truly happie n treats me as a friend, that's all i ask for, because, the thought of 2 person who used to be so close turning into strangers just makes me feel upset lor, i am one who treasures my frenships wif any1 a lot, ya lor. hmm, at this point in time, i think I just wana focus on my studies n frens, i doubt my xin fu will come along so fast haha but yea, for those out there who got hurt in their past relationship, take the time off to bask in the love of ur frens n family, do wadever u wish to do, n of coz learn to let go bah, u jus make urself miserable by holding on, finding out more abt the other person. I thought of something alwyn told me, james's close fren, he already closed his door in ur face, why knock n knock n knock knowing he won't open the door for u again? y not open ur door n let others come along.....actuallie it was his words that made me realise a few months back that i reallie shld haf let go lor, yar, I am happie that we were once close, happie that at least we r frens..its enuff to know that
last but no least
I would like to wish YAM a HAPPIE bIRThdAY! it was yesterday though haha, yeps she jus told me she had a nice pinic wif her frens, how nice n cozy n sweet of her hall frens to organise for her hehe yeps,
gonna take a bathe n continue my revision[ how hardworking i am hehe :p] [ like real] [ progressing well..:)]
you make my life perfect-`
Sunday, April 03, 2005
10:57 PM
oki, talk about productive saturday, guess what, I've had a super unproductive sun..woke up late, read a chapter from RM textbk, n bathed n went out haha yar, went to my grand mother's place, thought that i could study there, end up on the way there, RIence's arm got dislocated..thus followed him to find the doc..poor boy look so ker lian haha yar lor luckily he's ok liaoz...so i spent the whole sunday playing wif him, going to the new house, sit in the new car, basically relaxed! haha actuallie at first i didn't want to go one, but like i thought that during the exam period i won't c them for quite long, n i haben been there for quite long, so I decided to pay my grandmother a visit yar lor...but ok la, tmr gg to launch full gear to study, so today i bask in my family's company haha yeps..:)
you make my life perfect-`
Friday, April 01, 2005
6:30 PM
hmm, i feel so much better after a sleep....truly relaxed n threw all my troubles away, blasted the music in the background, n just went to lala land, i didn't dream too....surprising, think i was too tired....but i'm glad i'm energized, seriously gg to throw away my troubles away as for now..at least hopefully forever, so many things which onlie some of u mite noe how i feel~ yar lor.....waiting for my daddy to come n pick me up...looking forward to the nice dinner at plaze singapura later ~ yeps.....
count down : 14 DAYS to Exams
you make my life perfect-`
who r u to take away my happiness...who r u to make me cry...who r u to make me feel so sad...who r u to make me feel so miserable........who r u to make me feel so sad time n time again.......u r a nobody......a bad liar...dun pretend to be nice in front of me.....i wish i didn't know u at all...not at all.....
you make my life perfect-`