Saturday, January 29, 2005
11:23 AM
hello..hmmm...just woke up..waiting for jack, weizhong n dot to go n bk e venue for SP nite...yeps..yesterdae i went to celebrate liqin's birthday...she held her bday at this ntu chalet which renjie says it cost onlie $40 for the whole weekend! it's reallie huge..but somehow it just gives me the feeling of a haunted house haha like those huge mansions in those scary movies.....yeps...had bbq...helped to bbq..renjie reallie bought a lot of food n couldn't finish it...ya lor....somehow i was reminded of my 19th birthday where james organised a chalet for me at sentosa....all the fun...all e good food.....oh well...those were the good old days...yar lor....actuallie later i gg to ssbay i dunno if i will c him c him already also dunno wad to say or tok better dun c better i wonder how he's doing n everithing should be quite good i guess yeps....actuallie over the past few months, everione keep telling me that he's not good..he's a jerk..etc etc..but i dowan to think of him as such a bad guy....maybe i'm silly or wad lor..but ya..just wan to keep those good memories of him in my heart...but again..to think of it he was reallie nice to me during the period when we were together....perhaps all guys r lydat..when they like u they r nice to u when they dun they jus treat u like rubbish...this brings me to the point that..i feel that i kinda developed a phobia for relationships..i noe its all in the game of love that u face the risk of being hurt u face the risk of changing hearts u face the risk of circumstances..u face the risk of changes..i dunno i noe that i am afraid....i haf a fragile heart n i dowan to break it again after taking such a long time to glue it back ..the past few months were reallie the rough times of my life...never felt so sad n down before...i'm glad i've picked myself up thanks to the company of my good pals.....oki i dunno y i'm soundin so emotional here but guessed it's all been built up over the past couple of weeks...i noe that i'm still sad whenever i think of this past relationship but i noe in my heart i've moved on....moved on for good....n never wanna look back....listening to the song 'tong hua' by guang liang...maybe my fairy tale story is already shattered...but i hope that i will grow to believe again...yesterdae went to the chalet got ktv....den happened to stumble upon this song ' xiang xing ' by sun yan zi...the song describes a girl who had been hurt before....but she hopes she can believe in love again......ya i dunno la i think i'm crazy wake up earlie in the morning come n tok abt this kinda thing but ya oh ya yesterdae nite fang ping n siewhong accompanied me back to my hall for a bathe..we had a nice 3 hr tok in my room toking abt dunno wad can't rem but i felt reallie happie..i love this kinda tok wif my frens...hmm ya lor.....21st bday...i also dunno how i wanna celebrate...still far la huh heh......in the mean time...i'm gonna stay the happie girl i am....sad no more..
you make my life perfect-`