Wednesday, October 13, 2004
1:13 AM
hello..hmm...well well....it's been another boring but stressful day....came back around 5....den hmm did one tutorial..un done actuallie...celebrated diana's and cindy's bday.....qt fun but got smeared wif the blackforest cake...haha..hmmz....yups..i duno...today i kinda miss him a lot..i dunno y ..everithing kinda came back to me....went to take a short nap after sobbing for a while...missed him too much...oh well...actuallie i realised we've been on the fone for a few mins everyday even though we've broken up...well...i dunno..he's very busy and stressed with his school and work....i hope he's taking it oki..his health is deteriorating too...well...it pains me to see him lydat....actuallie now i'm contented to just having short conversations wif him everiday..even though i can't meet him coz he dun haf the luxury of time to do so...even though he dun call me so often..even though..we can't go out...actuallie i've been meeting him for the past few fridays...everitime meet frm after midnite to morning...it has kinda became like a routine..my motivation to pass e week...but well i guess it's gg to stop soon becoz exams r nearing...n after exams..i can't imagine wad'll happen i dowan to tink too it scares me..for he may be gg overseas...or perhaps he'll be committed to his job n haf no time for me? i haf no idea....perhaps we r jus nt meant to be..but a silly me somehow still holds on..clinging tight...hoping dat a small miracle will happen but i noe well in my heart that it won't..things won't be e same anymore...i just wish that it could be...but now all i hope is that i still can keep in touch wif him..it's this little fone calls that makes me feels in touch wif him...i just hope that he'll be released of his stress...i just hope he'll be happier..becoz that's him..a happi him last time...yar loz...i dunno...actuallie i'm very happi when he sms me..'study hard...sleep sweet etc'...becoz at least he bothers to...n it's meaningful to me when he sms me out of the blue...i dunno....haiiz..i guess i'm just a silly me..anyway exams r coming...it's time to study hard..n study hard n stop thinking of this kinda things...mb if i dun tink abt it things will work out..(just a silly thought) ..yups..i dunno y today my mind is very distracted..veri distracted..can't concentrate on anything i read/do been doing the 218 tutorial for damm long can't seem to get it done...i gif up...oh well study hard huijun! u haf no time left.....esp. for aa102 and bf212 okiz....buck up!!!!!! in the meantime....study hard pals..
you make my life perfect-`