Tuesday, September 28, 2004
1:05 AM
hello..i'm feeling super bored now..dunno y....feel sleepy maybe i shall go and sleep soon..yups...nothing much...it's like only 30+++ more days to exams n i haben reallie been studying, no time n tons of project to do..how! how! how! i also dunno how.....but i've been trying to do my tutorials...actualli kind of regret slackin so much over the past sem becoz it's reallie hard to catch up n i noe my results gg to roll down the slide..yar...hmm these few days been quite close to james...he sms me, ans my calls n stuff...went out on fri nite wif him....now he's gg to work at this pub opp diablo one....yar lor we went geylang to eat supper...den after dat drove back to my hall coz he needed to help his dad print somethings..yar lor...den i missed him a lot leh...although can't reallie tell him n he also dun tell me anymore...i duno leh....i noe that nothing will happen but here i am still waiting for him to ask me back....so stupid...but i dunno y i still love him so much..i noe now i cannot expect much frm him already...
you make my life perfect-`
Thursday, September 23, 2004
1:08 PM
BEING TWENTY - SOMETHING
They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out...
to all my frens out there, this is an article relevant to us :p
you make my life perfect-`
Monday, September 20, 2004
1:34 AM
wow, how time flies..there goes my 1 week break....break? actually there wasn't really a really a break...it's more like a project week to me..although did squeeze some time out for shopping n gathering wif S16...yups...hmm but most of the week was busy doing the aa102 project..wonder why we took to long to finish it, monday siewhong n libing came over to my hall to stayover, had quite some fun, watched cinderella story...but i fell aslepp 1/2 way, too tired already hehe...yups....den tues did research thingy, wed proj, thurs research thingy, finally i had friday n sat to play...friday i went to sing ktv wif siewhong, libing n liqin...we went to kbox at cineleisure, sang for 3 hours, den i went shopping wif liqin n siewhong...guess wad..i bought THREE ear rings! all very nice...two pearly ones n one beaded ones..very nice..it's been long since i've slurged on myself...yups...den satuday was rather 'happening'...met s16 for dinner at geyland, we were not sure of our way, so we went around in circles, trying to find the 'golden pillow' which me n siewhong craved for a long long time, finally we found it..but poor siewhong, she dun take mutton, the only kind left was the mutton one, but the stall holder did not tell us! so poor her she din get to eat wad she wanted to...heh...but lucky for her the frog leg porridge stall was the nice one which we ate during the FOC camp, yups...we had popiah too...after that we went to eat you tiao...n dou jiang/hua....n alvin, lest, n shux ordered this beeg beef kuay teow n lester kept proclaiming that it's the best kuey tiao, but i thought it's not nice at all..it's chao ta one! haii...well..that's how my week past.....hmm ya this week james went to uk too...from sun - thurs, for a short conference meeting i guess..i haf no idea wad he's doing but i just know that he's very busy n haf absolutely no time for me..actualli i reallie feel veri sad..i used to be so impt to him..now i dunno wad i'm worth in his heart, mb he still cares abt me but he no longer shows it...that day while singing ktv..i dunno y i suddenly cried..so paiseh...just that the song kinda made me think of everything...the song goes smthing like it's so hard to remove someone from your heart....it's really veri difficult...u noe every single day n almost every moment even when i'm very occupied i think of james....but i guess he don't..becoz he has too many things on his mind other than me...i'm so sad....but i noe i can't just dwell in my sadness...i noe..but it's hard to move on..it's been almost like..gg to hit 2 months already but every single day, i inevitably shed some tears, but he doesn't noe it...i just hope in his heart he's happy i dun wish to be a nuisance to him...i dun wish to...mb for now i jus hope that i still haf a small place in his heart...jus a tiiny spot...well..it's gonna be exams soon...i need to reallie buck up ....reallie i noe i can't get A's already coz i haben been studying hard...jus hope to be able to fare well lor.......may the luck be wif me..i've been reallie down on luck lately..reallie i can feel it..i dunno....
you make my life perfect-`
Friday, September 10, 2004
11:17 PM
hello....hmm oh well..just kind of settled down after i came home from school...had aa102 quiz today and it's damm hard la..dunno if i can pass or do well....really regreted not reading the textbk n following the tutorials consistently...hmm...oh well...next week is my one week break...but it's fully packed with projects...sun james's gg to uk for a work trip till thurs..that day i talked to him over the phone den he jokingly asked me to join him if i have the money...i wished i could join him..but i don't have time....i haf the responsibility to complete my school projects..i really i wished i could join him n fly to liverpool...hmm..oh well...yea..my heart still aches whenever i think about how things between me and him turn out...it's so sad...i really feel so sad to lose him....i guess no one really knows how i feel...i hope to meet him n talk things out n work things out..but it just won't work out...somehow he just closes his heart n mind n set his mind to leave me..all alone in this small part of the world...maybe i expected too much out of this relationship that i can't let go..most pple ask me why i can't let go..what's so good about him that makes me love him so much...i dunno...mb it's just a feeling..because i feel that he's such a nice boy...love his family so much...hardworking....n kind to everyone..and of coz he used to love me so much too...i just wonder deeply whether he can jus forget me lydat...he says it's hard..he says he's trying to forget me too...but why try...i tried..i tried ..but i really can't every min n every sec i seemed to be thinking about him..u noe in my heart, i really accept everything about him whether gd or bad..i wanna share happiness n sadness wif him...isn't love all abt sharing? i dunno why he's doing this to me..but i noe he has his reasons...i noe i can't keep indulging in my sadness...i noe that i noe that..but it's so miserable...i just wish that things will work out the way i want..but i noe i'm just being silly...life's not that smooth n easy...i reallie dunno wad to do wif this relationship wif him..i dunno if ishld hold on or just forget him...i dunno i wan to leave everything behind but i can't..it's just haunting me everyday...i jus wish that he could listen to me..but mb wad's meant to be will be wad's meant to urs will be urs..maybe we r jus nt fated to be...i dunno...just wish that he'll be happy...i dunno...i jus hope i can concentrate on my studies..it's really affecting me bad..i'm so behind time in every subject...i'm so stressed..n my 20 yr old year is a bad yr..it's a bad bad yr..jus wish that i can haf just one wish to come true..n i noe the wish to be..that james will come back to me...
you make my life perfect-`
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
9:16 PM
To realize The value of ten years - Ask a newly Divorced couple.
To realize The value of four years - Ask a graduate.
To realize The value of one year - Ask a student who Has failed a final exam.
To realize The value of nine months - Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.
To realize The value of one week - Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize The value of one hour - Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.
To realize The value of one minute - Ask a person Who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realize The value of one-second - Ask a person Who has survived an accident...
To realize The value of one millisecond - Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics
Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have. You will treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special.
you make my life perfect-`
Thursday, September 02, 2004
10:56 PM
1. To My Friends Who Are...........SINGLE
Love is like a butterfly,
The more you chase it , the more it eludes you.
But if you just let it fly, it will come to you when you least expect it.
Love can make you happy but often it hurts,
But love's only special when you give it to someone who is really
worth it.
So take your time and choose the best.
Life is sad & sadness is nt smeting dat shld b avoided or denied... says:
2. To My Friends Who Are............NOT SO SINGLE
Love isn't about becoming somebody else's "perfect person."
It's about finding someone who helps you become the best person
you can be
3. To My Friends Who Are............HEARTBROKEN
Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow
them to go.
The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from
them .
7. To My Friends Who Are............STILL HOLDING ON
A sad thing about life is when you meet someone and fall in love,
Only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be
& that you have wasted years on someone who wasn't worth it.
If he isn't worth it now he's not going to be worth it a year or 10 years
from now.
Let go.....
6. To My Friends Who Are............AFRAID TO CONFESS
Love hurts when you break up with someone.
It hurts even more when someone breaks up with you.
But love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea how
you feel.
you make my life perfect-`