Wednesday, August 18, 2004
12:41 AM
hello, hmm it's been some time since i last posted my entry...since i'm feeling tired and everything shall get down to writing what had happened over the short span of time over the last 2-3 weeks or so....well...as no one could have expected..i've broken up wif james....i still haven quite got over it...cannot concentrate on my studies, everything everything that i do now..well..ok...he broke up wif me becoz of some family problems and he gotta go to the U.S...actually i couldn't quite accept it initially..after umpteen times of trashing out wif him...today i finally realised his reasons for doing so....becoz if he continues wif me, he can't bear to leave me alone here, he won't go overseas which he has to go....anyway he's so persistant, he's not going to change his mind...not at all..i thought i could talk him out of it..but obviously i'm wrong...i tried..hard..but i just can't persuade him that things may n will work out if we set our hearts to it...it's so painful..i truly understand his plight...but it's so painful..our love for each other is so deep, i guess we're just not fated to be together.....memories of us keep flashing back everywhere i go...everywhere...every morning i just wake up feeling lonely..feeling sad ...hoping that everything's just a dream but it's not..it's reality...i guess if he's really happier this way...i'll just let him go..i mean..i noe it's easy to say now..but i really hope that everything will work out for him...n me..or mb if there's a miracle....us...i really wished that things were simpler..n really really feel that he's the one for me...ok sounding silly here..but he's really a super duper nice guy..act. i'm proud of him for standing by his family at this point in time..i hope that mb in time to come, eveyrthing will be better for the both of us....i duno jus wanna thank him for the times he've been there for me..caring for me...enduring me...loving me..everithing everithing everithing...i guess i just have to move on wif life n concentrate on my work i really hope i can..i've been crying for everyday since it happened...i just can't accept it..but..for the sake of his family..n for him...i understand..just want him to know that i hope we stay as close friends...keep in contact...and just want to tell him that i really love him in my heart...i do..n...yar...hope that things will really work out n miracles will happen....
you make my life perfect-`