Tuesday, August 31, 2004
5:25 PM
hello, well i just ended a long day...came back alone from school for the first time this sem, always had yongfeng to gimme a lift frm sch or drove back coz i had the car for the past month.. hmm...yups....this weekend had been quite slacked....went to fetch daddy from airport on sat morning...after which i went to orchard to meet siewhong to shop for huang's prezzie...met jac, lester, shux n alvin at marche to eat...bumped into sujuan..so qiao..hmm yeps...just a simple dinner...den after dinner rushed to suntect to get siewhong's levi's jeans....yeps.....we didn't get the present but we had a prez in mind which siewhong will go n get it....den...at night i drove to sunset alone to get the receipt..n to look for james as well...hmm i got lost again as usual on my way to sentosa, drove to suntec again...and stopped by the road to ask a taxi driver, bet the taxi driver thinks i'm some idiotic driver who drives without knowing the way! oh well guess i'll haf to lose my way to find my way....yups...den i went sentosa....drove in...then they had an ang moh's party...he was playing dj for a while...den serving at the bar...din noe he's so busy during functions...i mean....i know he's busy last time, but i didn't know it's so busy...hmm yar lor...den i entertained myself playing the games machine...den he played together with me for a while...den i just stoned and look at the sea...find it so peaceful to just listen to the waves hitting the shore.....yeps..hang out till quite late with him, yar...i really haf fun and feel so loved whenever i'm wif him..but these kind of moments are not forever..it's short lived....the weekdays come...reality jus hits back and it's back to the same old thing....short sms-es and sometimes no response at all..becoz he's busy...yar...i dunno..he said he needs more time...he says he's trying too....i really hope that's wad he's doing...becoz i really hope for the better...i mean..i know it's silly of me..but i just can't stop loving him..can't stop thinking of him.....i don't know why also.....although i don't really feel that sad..mb i'm jus numbed from the feeling..when he calls me back i just feel so happie happie happie...the kind of feeling i don't know how to describe also....i just know that i'll be there for him....and i just hope that everything will return to wad used to be although i know..there's a slim chance....i'm jus a silly me who'll love him until i dunno when.....
hmm yea....and i'm glad i'm slowly catching up on my work..all thanks to the quizes....although the 1st one's rather demoralising coz i made lotsa stupid mistake, the quiz today was relatively easy...yar...i wanna work hard n not slack anymore, not to indulge in my sadness becoz it doesn't help at all.....yar...study hard girl!
you make my life perfect-`
Thursday, August 26, 2004
1:42 AM
hello..hmm oh well..these two days had been very happy....yesterdae i met james for dinner...we went to geylang to eat frog leg prorridge...den we drove to cineleisure to watch the aliens vs predations ( not nice at all!) hmm...den we went holland v...treated him to ice-cream...i had a cafe latte...yeps...guess wad...i let him drive my car back hm haha..hmm.
you make my life perfect-`
Thursday, August 19, 2004
12:09 PM
hello...having my 2 hrs break in between lessons...everyone seems to be busy reading...doing something constructive but I just don't feel like doing anything :p...looked at friendster wif libing just now...chatting on msn....hmm..went to makan....print notes..just don't want to read textbk or notes haha..die man..i'm so slack....actually wanna really start to study liao...everyone seems to know that i'm in the dean's list..it kinds of makes me feel very stress..becoz somemhow, i just feel that it is very difficult to maintain it esp. when i'm so slack now...i just feel so lost...oh well..have to get used to life without james..have to work hard...hmm...anyway i got an email regarding a scholarship interview...wonders wad's the award n everthing..i don't even know the details...act. quite worried for the interview...like don't know what to expect..still must write the essays...so difficult! but i really do hope i get it..so that i can relieve my dad of some burden...yar lor....hmm...yups yups...hmm went to look at my cousin's blog n weiling's blog..they've been faithfully updating their blogs....can tell that they're so happy wif their lives..i feel happy for them too...yups...hmm...wad esle shld i talk abt? hmm...no time to talk liao..haha need to go off for lessons...tataz~
you make my life perfect-`
letting go is such a painful experience...mb i dun have to let go...i don't know.....one of my friend says..if i love him..let him go....love requires faith....and effort from both parties...oh well...i dunno..i'm so tired..i'm gg to sleep shall continue my entries when i have the time....meanwhile....*pray* *pray* *pray* i need a miracle..it's raining heavily....it makes my heart sadder..
you make my life perfect-`
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
12:41 AM
hello, hmm it's been some time since i last posted my entry...since i'm feeling tired and everything shall get down to writing what had happened over the short span of time over the last 2-3 weeks or so....well...as no one could have expected..i've broken up wif james....i still haven quite got over it...cannot concentrate on my studies, everything everything that i do now..well..ok...he broke up wif me becoz of some family problems and he gotta go to the U.S...actually i couldn't quite accept it initially..after umpteen times of trashing out wif him...today i finally realised his reasons for doing so....becoz if he continues wif me, he can't bear to leave me alone here, he won't go overseas which he has to go....anyway he's so persistant, he's not going to change his mind...not at all..i thought i could talk him out of it..but obviously i'm wrong...i tried..hard..but i just can't persuade him that things may n will work out if we set our hearts to it...it's so painful..i truly understand his plight...but it's so painful..our love for each other is so deep, i guess we're just not fated to be together.....memories of us keep flashing back everywhere i go...everywhere...every morning i just wake up feeling lonely..feeling sad ...hoping that everything's just a dream but it's not..it's reality...i guess if he's really happier this way...i'll just let him go..i mean..i noe it's easy to say now..but i really hope that everything will work out for him...n me..or mb if there's a miracle....us...i really wished that things were simpler..n really really feel that he's the one for me...ok sounding silly here..but he's really a super duper nice guy..act. i'm proud of him for standing by his family at this point in time..i hope that mb in time to come, eveyrthing will be better for the both of us....i duno jus wanna thank him for the times he've been there for me..caring for me...enduring me...loving me..everithing everithing everithing...i guess i just have to move on wif life n concentrate on my work i really hope i can..i've been crying for everyday since it happened...i just can't accept it..but..for the sake of his family..n for him...i understand..just want him to know that i hope we stay as close friends...keep in contact...and just want to tell him that i really love him in my heart...i do..n...yar...hope that things will really work out n miracles will happen....
you make my life perfect-`
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
7:42 AM
i wake up wif swollen eyes...been crying the whole night....i broke up wif my dearest boyfriend..because he's going to US in december..why is all this happening? WHY??????????????????????????????????????????????????????? i don't want it to happen..i feel like it's a dream........i can't believe it...
you make my life perfect-`
Sunday, August 01, 2004
10:12 PM
hello..haven update my entries for quite some day...ok..one gd news..i passed my driving test! hehe..hmm..but 2nd attempt ..but quite glad i don't have to spend more $$ on my driving..yeps yeps....hmm...sch started for 1 week liao..but..i dun have the mood to study at all..dunno y...haven read my tutorials/text/notes..veir lazy to start all over again..but i know cannot slack lor..but just can't bring myself to touch e books..still in the holz mood! yar lor...i miss james..haven seen him for > a week...he's always so busy nowadays with his school project, soccer, rugby and his uncle's company..duno la..i hope i can concentrate more on my studies..
you make my life perfect-`